People inside organisations develop their own language surprisingly quickly. Products acquire abbreviations, departments adopt terminology and phrases that once required explanation become so familiar that nobody remembers they were ever difficult.
Then the company communicates with somebody who does not work there. Fred has arrived.
Fred does not know what you know
The problem with much business writing is not poor grammar. It is assumed knowledge. Writers naturally begin from their own understanding of the subject, while the reader may have none of these advantages.
- what is being offered
- who it is intended for
- why it matters
- what unfamiliar terminology means
- what they are expected to do next
If that information is only obvious once somebody explains it verbally, the copy probably has more work to do.
Simple does not mean simplistic
Clear writing has acquired an unfortunate reputation for being somehow less intelligent than complicated writing. The opposite is usually true. It is relatively easy to hide uncertain thinking behind long sentences and specialist vocabulary. Producing a concise explanation normally requires considerably more understanding.
Clear copy does not have to be bland. It simply needs to communicate before it asks the reader to admire the writing.
Read it outside its natural habitat
Copy often looks perfectly convincing inside a presentation where everybody already understands the project. Remove it. Put the headline on its own, read the paragraph without the preceding explanation, show it to somebody outside the organisation and read it aloud.
Fred may never notice excellent copy. He will simply understand it. That is usually the point.
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